Silent night, holy night- goes the Christmas carol. But is this silent night always a holy night? Year 2006, month January, elderly Ramkishan walks into his neighbor’s house and offers to baby-sit their 10 month old daughter for the night. The young couple, happy to be relieved of their duties for a night, gladly hand over the infant. They do get her back the next morning, but bleeding. Her uterus severely damaged as she has been repeatedly raped and sodomised.
‘Welcome to the world of child sexual abuse’, where children are terrorized and brutalized by the very people who are supposed to keep them safe. We teach our children to trust only those they know, but what if those they know are the ones they should not trust? What if it’s the smiling relative by the day who becomes their bogyman at night? A highly charged battle is being waged today in our nation’s courtrooms, universities and living rooms. This battle is about ensuring ‘Child Protection’. Seems to be easy, doesn’t it? All you have to do is put yourself in your child’s shoes and sense where the dangers could possibly lie. But you might get paranoid on discovering that most of the dangers lie within. 13-state National Study on Child Sexual Abuse released in 2007 conducted by the Ministry of Women and Child Development, UNICEF and Save The Children reported that 69 per cent of all Indian children are victims of physical, mental or emotional abuse, with New Delhi’s children facing an astounding abuse rate of 83.12 percent. The study by the South India Cell for Human Rights Education and Monitoring reported in 2011 that one woman molested every 26 minutes in India. 2 rapes take place every hour in our country and 1 in 5 victims is a child.
No more can we pretend that child abuse is restricted to remote villages in backwards areas. Rich or poor, urban or rural, boy or girl, 50% of child sexual abuse happens at home, inflicted mostly by chachas , mamas, close relatives, friends or servants of the family. The fact is that child abuse is India’s deepest and worst kept secret. And the bitter truth that is most families immediately drop a veil of secrecy over such incidents. An abused child, even if he has the courage to come up and tell his tale is either disbelieved or worse believed and asked to shuhh! ‘The family honour is at stake’. 71 per cent of sexual assault cases in India go unreported.
The extreme level of denial on part of the parents and fear on the part of the children that exists in most Indian homes often protects the abusers. They used to say it takes a village to raise a child, but today it takes a whole nation. The need of the hour is not to sensationalize but sensitize our children to the dangers rampant around them. The first question the Indian Prime Minister needs to ask his ministers today is not “How is the economy growing?” rather “How are the children growing?” Because if children are not growing well, we shall have sick traumatized adults struggling with various emotional disorders like depression, denial, disassociation and difficult relationships. Sexual abuse is another form of terrorism which must not be tolerated for another year, another day, another hour.
One hundred years from now, it will not matter what our bank accounts we had, the sort of house we lived in, or the kind of car we drove. But the world matter is how we brought up our child because that might make the world a better place to live in. We have to live up to the sacred faith reposed in us by our vulnerable little ones by making them feel secured, loved and well looked after. Some soul searching is badly required.
Are we really in constant, open communication with our children regarding their behavioral changes? Are we really in our children’s circle of trust, offering them unconditional love and support? Are we listening and believing them and not just shutting them up by saying ‘don’t talk rubbish about your elders’? Are we concerned and bold enough to take steps to help Misty a midst? (Below is the poem I once read on net.)
My name is Misty, I am but three,
My eyes are swollen, I cannot see.
I must not be loved, for I am punished with cigarette butts.
I must do right, I can’t do wrong,
Or else I am lockup, all week long.
When I awake, I am alone,
The house is dark, my folks are gone.
Be quiet now, I hear a car,
My dad is back from Charlie’s Bar.
I hear him curse, my name he calls,
I squeeze myself, against the wall.
On my bed, it’s too late,
His face is twisted into hate.
I feel the pain again and again.
Oh dear god! Please let it end.
My name is misty, I am but three,
Last night my farther, murdered me…
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Old Age- A Curse?
“Thank you beta” he said as I gingerly handed him his medicines. No less than five tablets, all shapes, sizes and colors. “I am proud of my children” he said, turning his face around to look out of the window. There was not much to look out at except the back wall of the second wing of the hospital. As the day runs out the grayish wall turns all black melting into the bosom of the night. Tears well up in my eyes, as those old helpless hands, pierced with needles make a faint attempt seeking comfort in my arm. Suddenly the sound of the heart monitor becomes a monotonous beep, as his hand falls. In an instant he is no more. And as he takes his last breath all he has to say is “I am waiting for my son, I know he will come.” But no one came. A week later all that the old age home received was Rs.10, 000 draft and a letter saying “My father should be cremated in the most honorable and religious manner.”
Do you know when you are old? When people on the streets don’t look at you. They avoid meeting your eye and let their glance slide off the side of your head. Those people could be your own children. Old age has become a curse. Old parents too like other things have become disposable. Use them and throw them. Youngsters today feel no qualms in dumping people who are inconvenient in their lives. Yes! This is the same Indian parivaars, full of sanskars that our GEC serials show everyday and millions lap up with tears in their eyes.
Isn’t it sad that parents in our country still live only for their children by whom in the twilight of their lives they are disregarded and ignored? Isn’t it a curse for Indian parents to be so wired as to focus all their attention and emotions on their children with result that when that hub is gone most of them spend their last years in emotional turmoil and sheer mental agony.
Gone are those days when the grand patriarch and matriarch would reign secure in their domains with toddlers at their knees. Today they are marginalized, neglected and ill- treated. Today children have every good reason to casually shrug off their responsibilities towards their parents and venture out. Job offers are better, prospects of making good living brighter and well may be once in a while the old parents do get a chance to visit their children abroad where there are luxurious cars, swimming pools but no time for the ‘guest parents’. The poor parents are just nannies to their growing grand children. Till the time their visas expires and they return lonely and heart broken to their empty shells.
Unfortunately a silent revolution has occurred in the last 100 years- unseen, unknown and yet so close, that is increase in life expectancy leading to sharp rise in the number of old people. India which is today proud to have the largest number of young people in the world is poised to become the country with the second largest number of old people. It’s really a matter of shame that in our country 90% of old people don’t have social security at the age of 60.
The alarm bells are ringing loud and clear. If we do not heed these warning signals and change the scenario, if we do not start caring for our aged and enfeebled parents and grandparents then the day is not far when we shall have stepped into their shoes and shall be lamenting like the pathetic unwanted aged Lear of Shakespeare:
Pray do not mock me
I am a very foolish old man
Four score and upward
Not an hour more or less
And to deal plainly
I fear I am not in my perfect mind
Do you know when you are old? When people on the streets don’t look at you. They avoid meeting your eye and let their glance slide off the side of your head. Those people could be your own children. Old age has become a curse. Old parents too like other things have become disposable. Use them and throw them. Youngsters today feel no qualms in dumping people who are inconvenient in their lives. Yes! This is the same Indian parivaars, full of sanskars that our GEC serials show everyday and millions lap up with tears in their eyes.
Isn’t it sad that parents in our country still live only for their children by whom in the twilight of their lives they are disregarded and ignored? Isn’t it a curse for Indian parents to be so wired as to focus all their attention and emotions on their children with result that when that hub is gone most of them spend their last years in emotional turmoil and sheer mental agony.
Gone are those days when the grand patriarch and matriarch would reign secure in their domains with toddlers at their knees. Today they are marginalized, neglected and ill- treated. Today children have every good reason to casually shrug off their responsibilities towards their parents and venture out. Job offers are better, prospects of making good living brighter and well may be once in a while the old parents do get a chance to visit their children abroad where there are luxurious cars, swimming pools but no time for the ‘guest parents’. The poor parents are just nannies to their growing grand children. Till the time their visas expires and they return lonely and heart broken to their empty shells.
Unfortunately a silent revolution has occurred in the last 100 years- unseen, unknown and yet so close, that is increase in life expectancy leading to sharp rise in the number of old people. India which is today proud to have the largest number of young people in the world is poised to become the country with the second largest number of old people. It’s really a matter of shame that in our country 90% of old people don’t have social security at the age of 60.
The alarm bells are ringing loud and clear. If we do not heed these warning signals and change the scenario, if we do not start caring for our aged and enfeebled parents and grandparents then the day is not far when we shall have stepped into their shoes and shall be lamenting like the pathetic unwanted aged Lear of Shakespeare:
Pray do not mock me
I am a very foolish old man
Four score and upward
Not an hour more or less
And to deal plainly
I fear I am not in my perfect mind
They call it ‘Law’
Other day I was watching TLC when I got to know about a strange law in Singapore. Sale and import of chewing gum is banned in the country. I was dumbstruck!! Smokers and bibulous men are dangerous at times but why gum consumers? How can chewing gum harm anyone? What made the breed of thinking men come up with such a bizarre law? So I did a small research and found out people usually stick these gums at public property, key holes, elevator buttons and government face maintenance problem. Pretty odd law but then can’t deny this problem is genuine. Because of few nerds the government banned the consumption of chewing gums only!!
Later on, I surfed for other wired laws all over the globe and trust me most of them are so abstruse that you won’t believe lawmakers can come up with such outlandish regulations ever. Below is the list of few of them. Enjoy reading!!
Few Strange Laws:
1. In Virginia, the Code of 1930 has a statute which prohibits corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than political candidates.
2. In London, England, wife beating is legal just as long as it is not after 9pm and it doesn’t disturb the neighbors.
3. It is against the law in Germany to mention the date 1966 in any football ground.
4. In Miami You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM on Thursday.
5. It is illegal in Switzerland to flush the toilet after 10 pm.
6. If a person finds a lost child they can claim the child as their own is a parent does not turn up within 2 hours.
7. Attempting to escape from prison in Denmark is not illegal; however, if a person is caught he is required to serve out the remainder of his term.
8. In Florida, if you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you can't parachute on Sunday afternoons.
9. California law prohibits a woman from driving a car while dressed in a housecoat.
10. In Indiana, it is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
11. A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline in New York.
12. It is illegal for women to wear wigs.
13. In Victoria Australia, only a licensed electrician is allowed to change a light bulb.
14. It is illegal in Florida to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
15. In Ireland by law all Irishmen will create at least one amusing limerick each year.
16. It is illegal in France to die unless a cemetary plot has first been bought.
17. A barber is not to advertise prices in the State of Georgia.
18. In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.
19. In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.
20. In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.
21. In Georgia, it’s against the law to spread a false rumor.
22. In Missouri, a man must have a permit to shave.
23. In Indiana, liquor stores may not sell milk.
24. In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
25. In England, it is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
26. In New Jersey, cabbage can't be sold on Sunday.
27. It is against the law in Connecticut for a man to write love letters to a girl whose mother or father has forbidden the relationship.
28. In Michigan, it is against the law for a lady to lift her skirt more than 6 inches while walking through a mud puddle.
29. In Washington, USA, it is still an offence to pretend that you have rich parents.
30. In Oxford, Ohio, USA, it is still illegal for a woman to undress in front of a picture of a man.
31. In Virginia, chickens cannot lay eggs before 8:00 a.m., and must be done before 4:00 p.m.
32. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
33. In Texas, it is a "hanging offense" to steal cattle.
34. In Victoria Australia it is forbidden to wear pink hot pants after mid-day on a Sunday.
35. In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.
36. In Alexandria, Minnesota, USA, it is still illegal for a man who has garlic, onions or sardines on his breath to have sex with his wife.
37. In Logan County, Colorado, USA, it is still illegal to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
38. In Providence, Rhode Island, USA, it is still illegal for shop owners to sell toothpaste and toothbrushes to the same customer on a Sunday.
39. In St. Louis, Missouri, USA, it is still illegal for firemen to rescue women who are still in their nightdresses.
40. In Lebanon any man may legally have sex with any animal just as long as it is a female.
41. In Texas states criminals are required to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
42. In Ireland the first born son must always be given the name "Paddy".
43. In Israel it is illegal for a chicken to lay an egg on a Friday or Saturday.
44. In Israel picking your nose on Saturday is forbidden.
45. In Japan if an older brother asks to marry your girlfriend by law and honour you, and your girlfriend, must agree.
Later on, I surfed for other wired laws all over the globe and trust me most of them are so abstruse that you won’t believe lawmakers can come up with such outlandish regulations ever. Below is the list of few of them. Enjoy reading!!
Few Strange Laws:
1. In Virginia, the Code of 1930 has a statute which prohibits corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than political candidates.
2. In London, England, wife beating is legal just as long as it is not after 9pm and it doesn’t disturb the neighbors.
3. It is against the law in Germany to mention the date 1966 in any football ground.
4. In Miami You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM on Thursday.
5. It is illegal in Switzerland to flush the toilet after 10 pm.
6. If a person finds a lost child they can claim the child as their own is a parent does not turn up within 2 hours.
7. Attempting to escape from prison in Denmark is not illegal; however, if a person is caught he is required to serve out the remainder of his term.
8. In Florida, if you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you can't parachute on Sunday afternoons.
9. California law prohibits a woman from driving a car while dressed in a housecoat.
10. In Indiana, it is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
11. A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline in New York.
12. It is illegal for women to wear wigs.
13. In Victoria Australia, only a licensed electrician is allowed to change a light bulb.
14. It is illegal in Florida to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
15. In Ireland by law all Irishmen will create at least one amusing limerick each year.
16. It is illegal in France to die unless a cemetary plot has first been bought.
17. A barber is not to advertise prices in the State of Georgia.
18. In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.
19. In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.
20. In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.
21. In Georgia, it’s against the law to spread a false rumor.
22. In Missouri, a man must have a permit to shave.
23. In Indiana, liquor stores may not sell milk.
24. In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
25. In England, it is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
26. In New Jersey, cabbage can't be sold on Sunday.
27. It is against the law in Connecticut for a man to write love letters to a girl whose mother or father has forbidden the relationship.
28. In Michigan, it is against the law for a lady to lift her skirt more than 6 inches while walking through a mud puddle.
29. In Washington, USA, it is still an offence to pretend that you have rich parents.
30. In Oxford, Ohio, USA, it is still illegal for a woman to undress in front of a picture of a man.
31. In Virginia, chickens cannot lay eggs before 8:00 a.m., and must be done before 4:00 p.m.
32. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
33. In Texas, it is a "hanging offense" to steal cattle.
34. In Victoria Australia it is forbidden to wear pink hot pants after mid-day on a Sunday.
35. In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.
36. In Alexandria, Minnesota, USA, it is still illegal for a man who has garlic, onions or sardines on his breath to have sex with his wife.
37. In Logan County, Colorado, USA, it is still illegal to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
38. In Providence, Rhode Island, USA, it is still illegal for shop owners to sell toothpaste and toothbrushes to the same customer on a Sunday.
39. In St. Louis, Missouri, USA, it is still illegal for firemen to rescue women who are still in their nightdresses.
40. In Lebanon any man may legally have sex with any animal just as long as it is a female.
41. In Texas states criminals are required to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
42. In Ireland the first born son must always be given the name "Paddy".
43. In Israel it is illegal for a chicken to lay an egg on a Friday or Saturday.
44. In Israel picking your nose on Saturday is forbidden.
45. In Japan if an older brother asks to marry your girlfriend by law and honour you, and your girlfriend, must agree.
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